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Cultivating Relationships

September 20, 2017

One morning while Monica and I were walking on the beach we came across this couple stretching before their morning jog.  I walked a bit past them then returned to create this image with my phone camera.  Under most conditions this would get deleted.  It was hastily composed.  The light is harsh and you can’t clearly see the faces of either subject.  Still, it serves my purpose as I think it is a great visual metaphor for how most relationships unfold.

Progress comes easier when there is agreement between people.  When we find ourselves opposing someone else, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to get our way and can be consumed with being right.  This frequently occurs even after one of the parties concludes they are on the wrong side of the issue.  Determined to get something out of their investment in the argument, they dig in and hope the other side will eventually give in.

I attended a workshop many years ago where the facilitator spent some time discussing the seductiveness of being “right.”  He explained that we all want to be right…all of the time.  Being right is the best.  He drew more than a few laughs from the group when he said being right was better than really good sex.  For me, his final comments were the funniest and certainly rang true.  He said, “For those of you who are thinking that you don’t want to be or need to be right all the time…you’re right about that.”

The knowledge from that workshop stuck with me and I find I will consistently get a better outcome in my interactions with others when it gets applied. 

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